Science news memes

The veteran dreamed a prosthetic that came with its own ghostwriter — can't wait for the part where it demands royalties.

Turns out the same species that can't agree on a group dinner plan showed up with 8% fewer divorces and a blood shortage solved.

Scientists finally got a text back from the early universe—it was just a 'u up?' from a galaxy that's been dead for 13 billion years.

We wiped them out in 1936 and we're cloning them back by 2036 — because apparently we can't stop meddling, we just changed departments.

Emu bush for headaches, river mint for digestion — all he needs is a backyard and zero fertiliser.

Saving the planet with a floating garden is genuinely brilliant, but I still won't swim in it.

My hairline found a cure before my landlord found a conscience.

Two people saw things science can't explain and I still can't get my Bluetooth to connect.

I can't even commit to a gym membership, and this man is renewing a lease with a parasite.

An elephant has more self-control than I do, and it doesn't even have a phone with the delivery app already open.

The moon has been collecting our junk for 50 years and they're calling it alien tech.

Scientists spent decades calling KRAS 'undruggable.' A two-a-day pill just filed a correction.

Deng Yu is essentially the first person to get a Fields Medal and decide his endgame is becoming an AO3 power user.

When your baby's first year includes a literal spring makeover, and all you can say is 'you wouldn't know what he's been through'—that's the kind of resilient that makes you wonder if he'll bounce back from everything.

Four thousand years on, his titles outlived his body — the name endured, the man did not.

Finally, a cleanse that costs nothing and actually shows results in a week—my bank account wishes it had that kind of turnaround.

My brain scan after three months of tomato paste: just a single word, 'sauce.'

Four decades of data deficiency, solved by one woman who just thought it was a weird prawn.

Finally a study confirming the bathroom is a war zone and my toothbrush has been a bystander this whole time.

Wangkamahdla Country just got the one thing that never goes out of style: a legally binding 'no'.

The sea does not negotiate — readiness is the only warning that counts.

The chick will spend five years perfecting a drum solo before it's allowed to date.

Every paleontologist's dream is to find the one fossil that proves even the Cretaceous period had a guy who ate something he absolutely should not have.

The bird thought it was ordering takeout and became the takeout.

Total landscaping budget for the last quarter-century: one crisp hundred. The Luna moths are thriving, the lawn-care industry is in shambles.

The last time those colors were this fresh, the paint was still wet and so was the pharaoh's to-do list.

The estuary's been through a rough patch, but with 12 groups on board and £4 million in the tank, it's about to get its groove back.

Somewhere a frog is watching his leg swim laps and reconsidering that fly he ate.

Finally, science confirms what every office worker knew: the most dangerous thing in the world is a 9 AM meeting.

Even the plant world has tech bros who skip the work and just absorb everyone else's nutrients.

I can't even get my freezer to stop frosting over and they're out here making ice that burns.

AEye's lidar is going to the Moon because it's the only place left with no traffic, no pedestrians, and no one asking it to find a parking spot.

Finally, a use for my landlord's 'security deposit.'

The zoo's foster program is so good, even the wild wolves can't tell the difference—though the pups might be confused about why their siblings howl with a southern accent.

In Kibber, the only thing colder than the winter is the reception a sick snow leopard used to get.

Move over, Myrtle Beach spring breakers — the real party animals here are five tuxedoed fluffballs who can't even swim yet.

FMCN and NTNC prove that the best way to protect nature is to actually ask the people who live there.

Great, another thing to get nostalgic about — now I'll miss my own smell.

Macs got a second chance with a machine that pumps like a champ, and now he's smiling like he just won the lottery.

Even the salmon are like, 'finally, someone fixed the plumbing.'

Your gut is already a fungus condo — turns out the landlord has your back against cosmic rays.

Vera just made sunscreen and plastic biodegradable—sunbathers and sea turtles can finally share the ocean in peace.

Teenage angst just got a sequel: instead of slamming doors, she's growing a second scalp in her stomach.

The 28-meter Spectrum rocket reached orbit just seven years after its founders were tinkering in a campus workshop.

Scientists spent years studying 1,900 kids to confirm what every cat owner already knew: the cat is fine, it's you who's the problem.

Great, now even the squid have better real estate agents than I do.

Humans: 1, Rats: 0, and the puffins are now the HOA president.

Now my underwear knows more about me than my therapist does.

Scientists: 'We found something weird!' — that's just their way of saying they left the detector on.

271 days on a pig kidney and the human one still acts like it did all the work.

Great, so now even the chimps at the zoo are judging my pronunciation.

Great, another reason to feel bad about my salad.

When your local river becomes a coho salmon timeshare, and the HOA finally fixed the entrance.

Red-light therapy to lucid dream, or just my office's fire alarm test? Either way, I'm not transforming into anything.

93% accuracy and it never needs a coffee break.

A genetically modified pig kidney bridged a man to a human transplant, a milestone in xenotransplantation.

A virus that's been quietly riding along in old books for 1,000 years — the original bookmark.

In the time this pig kidney lasted, Richard Slayman's human kidney transplant failed in 52 days—pigs are now outperforming humans at their own organ game.

We apologized to the thylacine for believing it was a myth, but the apology didn't work because it's still extinct.

Nature's HR department really out here assigning unpaid internships with zero exit interviews.