Business news memes
Page 2 of the best business news memes from Jester, made fresh daily from real business stories. Tap any meme to read the take and the story behind it.
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Privatizing airport security is just rebranding 'having your shampoo confiscated' as a luxury lifestyle choice.
The only thing lower than the quality of a drive-thru burger is the bar for what counts as 'beef' these days.
It’s nice to know that in the age of super-intelligence, the only thing we've actually optimized is how fast we can burn a trillion dollars.
If you don't own a home, don't worry, the Fed just downgraded you from 'potential buyer' to 'permanent background extra in a REIT's portfolio'.
It’s nice to know that when geopolitics ruins everyone else’s cost of living, TotalEnergies just treats it like a quarterly bonus multiplier.
The Magnificent Seven just realized that burning through billions to train a robot that hallucinates recipes isn't actually a viable retirement plan.
Imagine paying a premium to get a notification the exact second the market realization hits that the platform is just a glorified ticker tape.
The only thing more elastic than Google’s cloud storage is their definition of a 'committed' budget.
Imagine building an empire on the assumption that nobody in Asia owned a paintbrush before 1854.
WILDBERRIES BUILT AN EMPIRE IN MOSCOW. NOW UKRAINE IS BOMBING ITS WAREHOUSES.
Elon is finally merging Tesla and SpaceX, presumably because even he is bored of the traffic on Earth.
Google paying a billion-dollar fine is just a rounding error they’ve already factored into their 'How to look like we care' annual budget.
It’s comforting to know that while I struggle to get a personal loan, the elite have figured out how to make the entire bank disappear.
We have reached the stage of capitalism where the cure for the side effects of your weight-loss drug is just buying a brand-new face.
The FTSE 100 having a nervous breakdown because a tanker moved three degrees is my favorite form of financial astrology.
Nothing says fiscal responsibility like flying your entire financial team halfway across the globe just to ask a neighbor if you can borrow their stock exchange for a while.
Imagine being so rich that burning billions on AI that makes middle-schooler level mistakes just feels like a standard Tuesday morning.
The MSCI index is just a fancy way of saying we’re all betting our retirement funds on whoever has the best microchip factory this quarter.
Ride-hailing fuel surcharge: 'We'll stop charging you extra when global stability returns.' So, never.
Somewhere, a banker is desperately trying to find a plus-one for a merger wedding.
Lowering the cost of the pint doesn't matter much when the average person can't afford the cab home or the mortgage to get back to.
It's genuinely heart-warming to see the government finally prioritize the country's most vital research facility: the local pint.
Imagine being an economist watching a fruit glut crash the market while you're still paying fifty bucks for a single spiky disappointment.
We really thought charging for a seat that doesn't recline would fund the entire Middle East peace process.
The Macquarie CEO is leaving with a nine-figure payout, proving once again that the only thing trickling down in this economy is the corporate bonus structure.
The job market is so healthy that everyone is technically employed, just not by anyone with a payroll.
The government is so committed to fixing your wage theft that they’ve managed to turn 'justice' into a once-in-a-generation limited edition event.
Imagine needing a seat so badly you agree to a pay-per-minute subscription for the privilege of being ignored by a barista.
The most valuable company in China is currently a digital fever dream being funded by people who treat reality as a polite suggestion.
Elon Musk is just a toddler with a bank account who keeps setting his toys on fire to see if the colors change.
Imagine burning through a small country's GDP just to teach a computer how to hallucinate more efficiently.
Boeing is officially the last company that should be handing out 'how-to' manuals, unless the manual is just a list of things you shouldn't do.
Nasdaq acting like the moral police toward microcaps is like a guy at a buffet judging the last few crumbs on the dessert tray for being too stale.
For twenty-four thousand dollars, the hotel better provide a literal cow that learns how to tuck me in at night.
Wildberries trying to expand into a new market and accidentally discovering the local air defense capabilities is quite the pivot.
The only thing slower than this trade deal is a software update on a phone from 2012.
It is truly impressive to run a company where the customers pay extra just to subsidize the airline's own gas station habit.
Replacing a CEO with the head of the banking arm is the corporate version of shuffling the chairs on the Titanic and calling it a redesign.
It’s adorable that Boeing thinks they can sell planes like it’s 1995 while treating international trade like a hostage negotiation.
Google's AI is so profitable they'll replace their workforce with itself.
The only thing more unnecessary than this new flavor is the existential crisis you’ll have after your first sip.
Nothing says 'the future is here' like a multi-billion dollar tech giant blaming its cratering forecast on the very robot it swore would save it.
Imagine burning that much cash to make people hate your posts while your car company starts selling for parts.
ServiceNow is currently proof that if you add the word 'AI' to your quarterly slide deck, investors will treat your balance sheet like a winning lottery ticket.
The inevitable result of letting a giant tech company play hungry, hungry hippos with the entire internet's intellectual property.
The only thing more suburban than a rotisserie chicken shop scaling is the realization that your favorite local spot is now just a spreadsheet in a hedge fund’s portfolio.
The only thing more outdated than Nigeria's aviation rules is the surprise that they finally changed them.
The only thing more expensive than oil is the therapy bill for mapping a truck route around Iran.
The only thing these two companies hate more than each other is providing a service that actually works.
The firm finally discovered that the only thing more expensive than a lawsuit is a whistleblower who refuses to be gaslit into silence.
The only thing stopping our leaders from launching a rug-pull token is apparently a piece of paper, not a sense of shame.
When 'scale across Africa' means buying a second pipette and a prayer.
Finally, a central bank that treats monetary policy with the same rigorous, data-driven planning as a group chat deciding on a Friday night dinner spot.
Nothing says 'we've arrived' like a book about your startup journey — even if the journey is still ongoing.
Handing over a quarter of a trillion to manufacture chips locally is a bold strategy for lowering costs, provided your definition of 'lowering' is just setting the cash on fire.
Amazon's Italian deal: the first contract where 'one-click' applies to signing, not quitting.
Finally, we can treat the survival of our republic exactly like a fantasy football league where the only thing that matters is my personal gain.
The only cloud these guys are familiar with is the one their spreadsheets are stored on.
When your portfolio is down, just remember Jim Cramer has an entire TV show dedicated to being wrong with maximum confidence.
Imagine being the guy who decides that poisoning the public is cheaper than just fixing the pipes.