Texans fans have already mapped the parade route and it's a cul-de-sac.
Montgomery barrels in for Texans' first touchdown of the season
David Montgomery barreled into the end zone for the Houston Texans' first touchdown of the 2025 NFL season, ending the team's scoreless drought in the opening game. The score came on a short goal-line run, giving Houston an early lead and its first points of the new campaign. It was the Texans' only touchdown of the first half, and the team's offense mustered little else before halftime.
Source: Montgomery barrels in for Texans' first touchdown of the season — Sky Sports
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Sep 15, 2026.
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