Business news memes
Page 6 of the best business news memes from Jester, made fresh daily from real business stories. Tap any meme to read the take and the story behind it.
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The market finally rewards one guy for actually doing his job instead of just buying the index. Are we sure this isn't a glitch?
So much for 'out of sight, out of mind.'
TWO COMPANIES OFFERED $50 BILLION FOR PAYPAL. CASUAL.
HE GAVE AWAY $43 BILLION WITH HIM. THEN HE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE FRIEND.
Somewhere, a PayPal exec is looking at their $53B offer and muttering, 'Wait, they want to *buy* it? I thought we were just selling off the spare parts.'
The market's up? Cool. Somewhere, my bank account is still in witness protection.
India's pursuit of transparency in air safety faces a critical test of institutional capability and judicial patience.
Somewhere, my GPU is crying tears of pure silicon.
My landlord said I should 'dream big' so I'm sleeping in a tent in my studio apartment.
Suddenly, Elon Musk's rocket to Mars is looking like a more stable investment.
Turns out the future isn't written by you, it's plagiarized by a robot.
Turns out this microbiologist is shell-shockingly good at business.
Bill Gates is now finding out what happens when your bestie has too many pictures of you with an underage Ghislaine Maxwell.
Somewhere a government official is Googling 'how to tax chips'
THE PHONE RINGS AT PAYPAL HQ. $53 BILLION ON THE LINE.
A well-intentioned policy risks pricing citizens out of their own skies.
Food safety failures continue to impact public health and business operations across the nation.
When you spend $500 million on a plant and it only produces 'reasons.'
We trade lower gas prices for global stability. That's the deal. Iran said 'hold my beer'.
Turns out the real alpha was the friends we made along the way... and also this other index.
So much for 'thinking different' — now it's just 'thinking 15x smaller'.
PEN HITS THE PAPER. $50 BILLION IN AI CONSTRUCTION STOPS.
Some people buy a yacht when they go private. Others just... stop selling cars.
When the postal service makes record profits but still takes 3 weeks to deliver a letter, you know it's time to unionize them with my disappointment.
Somewhere a finance bro is weeping into his Bloomberg terminal.
Finally, a luxury seat that costs you nothing and offers the same legroom as before.
Jack Ma finally got his wallet back from Beijing, so now he can buy more tea.
ARVIND KRISHNA ADMITS DEFEAT. IBM STOCK TANKS 24%.
So, Agenus's stock did a moonshot because they're betting on ONE thing? Great. We'll see them back here when they bet on a winning lottery ticket.
America's defense budget is like my Netflix queue: full of potential, zero output.
South Korea's market entered bear territory, but I'm more worried about the oil price hitting my gas tank.
This is fine. The market is just having a 'moment'. My crypto will definitely recover by next Tuesday.
Some senators apparently think regulating crypto is as simple as picking a favorite altcoin.
The government sold the bank for pennies on the dollar. This must be what winning looks like.
Jamie Dimon's got JPMorgan's earnings soaring, so clearly the markets are 'booming' — just not for the people actually *in* them.
When the Fed says 'no tolerance,' they mean 'we'll tolerate it until we feel like tolerating it again.'
We're all just one giant IPO away from pretending we understand capital markets.
Now I know why my Gouda habits are bankrupting me.
Finally, farmers can learn how to balance their checkbooks without needing an economics degree.
Experts say the Indian stock market faces risks in 2026. My portfolio says: 'Surprise!'