If you're over 25 and still going to Lollapalooza, you're not there for the music—you're there for the lawn.
Chicagoans Over 25 Urged To Shelter In Place Until Lollapalooza Over
Chicago officials advised residents over 25 to shelter in place until Lollapalooza concludes, as the city braces for four days of gridlock, noise, and questionable fashion choices. The advisory is likely a public safety measure, but for many, it's also a lifestyle recommendation.
Source: Chicagoans Over 25 Urged To Shelter In Place Until Lollapalooza Over — The Onion
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Aug 1, 2026.
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