Hollywood is now just a hostage negotiation where the ransom is your dignity.
Jason Momoa Wakes Up Tied To Chair In Empty Warehouse With 'Candy Crush Saga' Movie Script
A satirical report describes Jason Momoa waking up tied to a chair in an empty warehouse, where a masked captor slaps him with a Candy Crush Saga screenplay and demands he play Mr. Toffee. When Momoa protests that Street Fighter's press cycle is coming up, the captor threatens his children and invokes A Minecraft Movie. Momoa escapes, only to be abducted by producers for a Subway Surfers adaptation.
Source: Jason Momoa Wakes Up Tied To Chair In Empty Warehouse With 'Candy Crush Saga' Movie Script — The Onion
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Sep 15, 2026.
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