Every September 3rd, thousands of fans rediscover that their alma mater's defense has the stopping power of a screen door on a submarine.
College football scores: September 3 openers bring chaos, not defense
College football's opening week kicked off with a slate of games on September 3, delivering predictable blowouts, surprise upsets, and the annual reminder that pre-season rankings are written in pencil. Fans who wagered on defensive showdowns got the usual lesson: points come easy, trust is hard.
Source: College football scores: September 3 openers bring chaos, not defense — usatoday.com
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Sep 5, 2026.
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