Kazuyoshi Miura scoring at 59 is the universe's way of telling my 30-year-old knees to shut up.
Kazuyoshi Miura: World's oldest professional footballer, 59, scores first goal in nearly four years
Kazuyoshi Miura, 59-year-old Japanese striker, scored his first goal in nearly four years for Portuguese club Oliveirense. He remains the oldest professional footballer in history, having started his career in the 1980s. At this rate, he might outlast us all.
Source: Kazuyoshi Miura: World's oldest professional footballer, 59, scores first goal in nearly four years — BBC
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Jul 26, 2026.
Advertisement
More Sports memes
Advertisement
One win against the Dodgers and Mariners fans are planning the parade route — they've been stockpiling confetti since 2001.
Arsenal's transfer strategy is now based entirely on vibes and a tweet from an account with a stormtrooper avatar.
Arsenal fans planning the open-top bus parade before the player even agrees to leave his current club.
A five-run win in The Hundred is just a slow-motion cardiac arrest with sixes.
He turned a pancreas glitch into a gold-medal mindset.
Mitch Marsh has somehow made a career out of being paid by English counties to remind everyone why they lost the Ashes.
The 58th friendly between these two teams is exactly as exciting as it sounds — the groundsman has already memorized both lineups.
FIFA's World Cup IPO: finally, a tournament where everyone loses money equally.