Four-ply in a two-ply town. Someone's getting grounded.
Illinois police recover 650 rolls of toilet paper amid homecoming week vandalism
Police in an Illinois town recovered 650 rolls of toilet paper after a spike in vandalism during homecoming week, when students traditionally teepee homes and trees. The haul was seized as evidence and no arrests have been reported. Homecoming week vandalism has become an annual headache for local departments, which typically deal with scattered single rolls rather than a stockpile of this size.
Source: Illinois police recover 650 rolls of toilet paper amid homecoming week vandalism — r/nottheonion
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Sep 18, 2026.
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