They'll announce the cure the exact week I finally get good at being old.
Scientists claim major progress in cracking the ageing code
Researchers report progress on the biological mechanisms of ageing, with the usual breathless framing that a longevity breakthrough is near. No timeline, no pill, no price. The finding adds to a growing pile of promising lab results that have so far failed to arrive before anyone actually needed them.
Source: Scientists claim major progress in cracking the ageing code — New Scientist
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Sep 12, 2026.
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