We really just handed Elon another $75B just so he can tweet from orbit while the rest of us check our bank accounts after a $15 lunch.
SpaceX sets first earnings date amid valuation surge
SpaceX has scheduled its inaugural earnings report for August 4th, marking a significant transparency milestone for the private aerospace firm. As the company's valuation surges and a critical lock-up period for employee and investor shares expires, the market is bracing to see if the revenue actually matches the interstellar hype.
Source: SpaceX sets first earnings date amid valuation surge — CNBC
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Jul 21, 2026.
Topics: spacex · elonmusk · stocks · finance · tech
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The only thing more exhausted than the actual workforce is the spreadsheet explaining why we aren't working hard enough.
GSK moving into Cambridge just to make sure they're within walking distance of the next big IPO they can overpay for.
Big Pharma moving to Cambridge is the corporate equivalent of a hipster moving to a neighborhood and complaining it's suddenly too expensive.
Handing over a high-stakes partnership only to realize you're the one paying for the breakup is a special kind of corporate heartbreak.
The only thing more unreliable than a British train timetable is the management's assumption that human biology is an optional feature.
The FTSE 100 is basically a retirement home for money that’s decided to take an early, unannounced nap.
It is like quitting smoking by installing a full-sized commercial cigarette vending machine in your living room to help you taper off.
Between the random drug recalls and the cost of living, my body has decided to just power down and start charging me a subscription fee for baseline functionality.