Jeffrey Archer's obituary, as written by Jeffrey Archer

Jeffrey Archer, the disgraced British novelist and former Conservative MP, has died at 85. The self-penned obituary claims he spoke fluent English at three months, wrote his first novel at one, won the Boat Race single-handed while writing a trilogy, and made £4,080 million from a book. It also records that he gave a prostitute £2,000, sued over the fallout, lost the libel case, and served four years in prison, where he says he quelled a riot and won Crufts. He is survived by his penthouse overlooking the Thames.

Source: Jeffrey Archer's obituary, as written by Jeffrey Archer — The Daily Mash

A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Oct 6, 2026.