FBI Classifies Not Finishing Hamburger  As Seditious Activity

FBI Director Kash Patel announced on Thursday that the bureau will treat leaving any part of a hamburger uneaten as seditious activity. The policy applies nationwide, with penalties up to 20 years in prison and $10,000 fines. Offenders who do not finish a double burger may be referred to Homeland Security for deportation.

Source: FBI Classifies Not Finishing Hamburger  As Seditious Activity — The Onion

A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Oct 9, 2026.